Funny Things
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.
if u like the replay........
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.
PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.
if u like the replay........
Silly Questions.... Hard to Answer
1.If all the nations in the world are in debt(am not joking. even US has got debts), where did all the money go?
2.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
3.What is the speed of darkness?
4.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
5.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?
6.Can you cry under water?
7.Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?
8.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
9.Do fish ever get thirsty?
10.Can you get cornered in a round room?
11.What does OK actually mean?
12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?
13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
14.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
15.What should one call a male ladybird?
16.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?
17.Can you blow a balloon up under water?
18.Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
19.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?
20.If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? 21.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one?
22.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? 23.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?
2.When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
3.What is the speed of darkness?
4.If the "black box" flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
5.Who copyrighted the copyright symbol?
6.Can you cry under water?
7.Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?
8.Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
9.Do fish ever get thirsty?
10.Can you get cornered in a round room?
11.What does OK actually mean?
12.Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?
13.What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
14.If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
15.What should one call a male ladybird?
16.If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?
17.Can you blow a balloon up under water?
18.Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?
19.If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?
20.If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? 21.Why is it called a TV set when theres only one?
22.If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? 23.Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road?
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