Once a sardar was looking at a WANTED poster & was wondering -
Saala wanted tha to photo kheenchne ke baad use jaane kyon diya ?
Sardar car ki battery change karwane gaya ...
Mechanic - Sahab, Exide ki daal doon ?
Sardar - Nahin yaar, dono side ki daal de, warna phir problem hogi.
A sardar on an interview for the post of detective was asked a question -
Interviewer - Who killed Gandhiji ?
Sardar - Thanks for giving me the job, I will investigate.
A Sardar was fond of detective novels, he always read from the middle, why ?
Its double interesting. It builds curiosity not only about its end but also its beginning !
Sardar returns book to library, bangs it on table & says - What a shit ? "I read the whole book, too many character, no story at all" ?.
Librarian : So, you are the one who took the Telephone Directory....
2 Days of Powercut in India made life miserable. Worst affected was Amritsar
where all the SARDARS were stuck for 48 hrs. on Escalaters.....
Two Sardars are driving a Car, one puts on the indicator and asks the other to check whether it is working. He puts his head out and says - YES..NO..YES..NO..YES..NO
Sardarji, tell me ...., what is the meaning of SMS ?
Sardar angrily said, i know - it means....
S - Sardaron ke
M - Mazak udane ki
S - Service
Banta : Oye to har SMS ko do baar kyom bhej raha hai ?
Santa : Kyunki tujhe agar ek forward karna ho to dusra tere paas rahe !!!.
Sardar goes to a shop to buy underwear -
After selecting one, the shopkeeper tells it costs Rs 150.
Sardar - Arre bhai, Daily wear dikhao, Party wear nahi chahiye...
Nice Q/As
1.John: Dad can u write in the dark? Dad: I think so. What is it u want me 2 write. John:
Ur signature on this report card
2.What did the postcard say to the stamp?
Stick with me and we'll go places.
3.How can you help a starving cannibal?
Give him a hand!
4.What happened at the cannibal's wedding party?
They toasted the bride and groom.
5.Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken
6.Was Dracula ever married?
No, he was a bat-chelor!
7.Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with?
The girl necks door!
8.What's an igloo?
An Eskimo's house without a loo.
9.Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
10.Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died?
He was looking for loopholes!
11.How can you tell that an attorney is about to lie?
His lips begin to move.
12.If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.
13.What's the definition of mixed emotions?
Watching your Mother-in-Law fall from terrace over your new Ferrari.
14.Why were ancient Egyptian children confused?
Because their daddies were mummies.
15.What did the water say to the boat?
Nothing, it just waved.
16.What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website!
17.What happens to cows during an earthquake?
They give milk shakes!
18.Why did the traffic light turn red?
You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
Ur signature on this report card
2.What did the postcard say to the stamp?
Stick with me and we'll go places.
3.How can you help a starving cannibal?
Give him a hand!
4.What happened at the cannibal's wedding party?
They toasted the bride and groom.
5.Why did the turkey cross the road?
To prove he wasn't chicken
6.Was Dracula ever married?
No, he was a bat-chelor!
7.Who is a vampire likely to fall in love with?
The girl necks door!
8.What's an igloo?
An Eskimo's house without a loo.
9.Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
10.Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died?
He was looking for loopholes!
11.How can you tell that an attorney is about to lie?
His lips begin to move.
12.If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.
13.What's the definition of mixed emotions?
Watching your Mother-in-Law fall from terrace over your new Ferrari.
14.Why were ancient Egyptian children confused?
Because their daddies were mummies.
15.What did the water say to the boat?
Nothing, it just waved.
16.What did the spider do on the computer?
Made a website!
17.What happens to cows during an earthquake?
They give milk shakes!
18.Why did the traffic light turn red?
You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!
Similarities / Dis-Similarities...
Hey Friends,
Got a nice Pic from net... Find out similarities / dis-similarities between the two..
nJOY
JOKE...
IT was the day after India's Independence Day. A
thoughtful Tony Blair who had watched the celebrations
on TV got onto the phone with his friend Bush:
"India!" shouted Blair.
"What about India?" asked a startled Bush.
"We English made a mistake George," said Blair, "I
need to get India back as a colony!"
"You serious Tony?" asked a still more startled Bush.
"Yeah this is not the India we let go some sixty years
ago," said Blair, "this is a colony we would be proud
to have now."
"So whatcha plannin' to do?" asked Bush.
"Why George what we did to Saddam. Attack them."
"You sayin' we? You not hoping I'm goin' to join you
are you?"
"I helped you in Iraq George, you forgettin' or
sometin'?"
"Yeah but we had an excuse there Tony, we were lookin'
for weapons of mass destruction, you remember?"
"So we do the same thing here George. We tell the
Indians to give up their weapons of mass destruction!"
"I don't know whether we are doing the right thing
Tony, India's a democracy you know?"
"I lied for you in Iraq George. Nearly lost the
elections for you. I'm sure you could do this lil'
favour for me. With India back as my colony, we'll be
back as a world power! Britain rules the world! You
heard that phrase George?"
"I thought it was America who was doin' the rulin'
Tony."
"We'll do the rulin' together George. You and me will
be equal partners once I get my India back. Come on
George talk to that Manmohan feller, tell him to give
up his weapons of mass destruction, or else..!"
"Okay Tony since you insist. Can call me back in five
minutes."
"Shall I get my ships ready?"
"For what?" asked a surprised Bush.
"For war dammit," shouted Tony as he put the phone
down and waited for Bush to talk to the Indian Prime
Minister.
He walked over to a little globe he had on
his office table and circled India gleefully.
The phone rang and he ran to pick it up.
"Tony it's me," said George, "how many ships you got
ready?"
"Aye aye sir, the Royal Navy is ready for action!"
said Tony, standing at attention.
"You can send them to India," said Bush.
"To fight?" asked Blair happily."
"No to pick up their weapons of mass destruction."
"Whatcha talkin' about?" asked a confused Blair.
"Manmohan said you would know 'cause it's your people
who made them," said Bush.
"What weapons of mass destruction?" whispered Blair
uncertainly.
"Their politicians, their MP's, their MLA's," said
Bush happily, "Manmohan said you could take them all
back to England where they were trained years ago by
yer people to divide and rule..!"
thoughtful Tony Blair who had watched the celebrations
on TV got onto the phone with his friend Bush:
"India!" shouted Blair.
"What about India?" asked a startled Bush.
"We English made a mistake George," said Blair, "I
need to get India back as a colony!"
"You serious Tony?" asked a still more startled Bush.
"Yeah this is not the India we let go some sixty years
ago," said Blair, "this is a colony we would be proud
to have now."
"So whatcha plannin' to do?" asked Bush.
"Why George what we did to Saddam. Attack them."
"You sayin' we? You not hoping I'm goin' to join you
are you?"
"I helped you in Iraq George, you forgettin' or
sometin'?"
"Yeah but we had an excuse there Tony, we were lookin'
for weapons of mass destruction, you remember?"
"So we do the same thing here George. We tell the
Indians to give up their weapons of mass destruction!"
"I don't know whether we are doing the right thing
Tony, India's a democracy you know?"
"I lied for you in Iraq George. Nearly lost the
elections for you. I'm sure you could do this lil'
favour for me. With India back as my colony, we'll be
back as a world power! Britain rules the world! You
heard that phrase George?"
"I thought it was America who was doin' the rulin'
Tony."
"We'll do the rulin' together George. You and me will
be equal partners once I get my India back. Come on
George talk to that Manmohan feller, tell him to give
up his weapons of mass destruction, or else..!"
"Okay Tony since you insist. Can call me back in five
minutes."
"Shall I get my ships ready?"
"For what?" asked a surprised Bush.
"For war dammit," shouted Tony as he put the phone
down and waited for Bush to talk to the Indian Prime
Minister.
He walked over to a little globe he had on
his office table and circled India gleefully.
The phone rang and he ran to pick it up.
"Tony it's me," said George, "how many ships you got
ready?"
"Aye aye sir, the Royal Navy is ready for action!"
said Tony, standing at attention.
"You can send them to India," said Bush.
"To fight?" asked Blair happily."
"No to pick up their weapons of mass destruction."
"Whatcha talkin' about?" asked a confused Blair.
"Manmohan said you would know 'cause it's your people
who made them," said Bush.
"What weapons of mass destruction?" whispered Blair
uncertainly.
"Their politicians, their MP's, their MLA's," said
Bush happily, "Manmohan said you could take them all
back to England where they were trained years ago by
yer people to divide and rule..!"
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