Sardar comes back 2 his car & finds a note saying "Parking Fine"
He writes a note and sticks it 2 pole "Thanks 4 d complement"
How do you recognize a Sardar in School? He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
Once a Sardar was walking and had a glove on one hand and not on other so the man asked him why did he do so. He Replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died. 'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' said Santa, 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'
___________________________________
Stupid Questions Frequently Asked
1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:-No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:-No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, its autumn and I'm shedding......
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!
Stupid Question:-Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:-Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..
2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:-Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:-No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.
3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?
4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:-Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:-No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.
5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:-Munna, Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:-Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.
6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:-Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:-No,he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.
7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:-Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:-No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping....you dumb witted moron.
8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:-Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:-No, its autumn and I'm shedding......
9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:-Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:-No it wont. It will just bleed.
10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:-Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!
VERY INTERESTING AND INFORMATIVE THINGS
1) If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on yourright side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food onyour left side
2) If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. Forwhen ahuman body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
3) Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
4) Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white thereisa thin film of bacteria on it.
5) The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts' meaning 'the bestor nothing'.
6) The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.
7) The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a personlooks at something pleasing.
8) The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.
9) Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day.Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.
10) The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear isnot the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
11) Dalmatians are born without spots.
12) Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
13) The 'v' in the name of a court case does not stand for 'versus',butfor 'and' (in civil proceedings) or 'against' (in criminal proceedings)
14) Men's shirts have the buttons on the right, but women's shirts havethe buttons on the left
15) The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. Allotherbirds raise their lower eyelids
16) The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it's already been digested by a bee
17) Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks
18) The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones
19) Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die
20) Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room foryour heart
21) The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate
22) When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red
23) When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red
24) The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor
25) The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney
26) Google is actually the common name for a number with a millionzeros
27) Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan
28) It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million tomake a film about it
29) The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples
30) There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower
31) The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually thesoundof nitrogen gas bubbles bursting
32) Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death
33) It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the wholebody
34) The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets
35) Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game
36) The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the corneainthe eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air
37) Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born,and140,000 people die
38) In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is10:10because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it is smiling.)
39) Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speakingcountries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."
40) The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning itshead are the rabbit and the parrot
41) Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair
42) The average person laughs 13 times a day
43) Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:Mizaru(Seeno evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)
44) Women blink nearly twice as much as men
45) German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog
46) Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump
47) Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound
48) Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty ofsending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all twothousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death
49) If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legsinthe air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg intheair, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; ifthe horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of naturalcause.
50) The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirtblood30 feet!!
2) If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. Forwhen ahuman body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
3) Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.
4) Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white thereisa thin film of bacteria on it.
5) The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts' meaning 'the bestor nothing'.
6) The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.
7) The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a personlooks at something pleasing.
8) The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.
9) Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day.Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.
10) The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear isnot the ocean, but rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
11) Dalmatians are born without spots.
12) Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.
13) The 'v' in the name of a court case does not stand for 'versus',butfor 'and' (in civil proceedings) or 'against' (in criminal proceedings)
14) Men's shirts have the buttons on the right, but women's shirts havethe buttons on the left
15) The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. Allotherbirds raise their lower eyelids
16) The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it's already been digested by a bee
17) Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks
18) The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones
19) Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die
20) Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room foryour heart
21) The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate
22) When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red
23) When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red
24) The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor
25) The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney
26) Google is actually the common name for a number with a millionzeros
27) Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan
28) It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million tomake a film about it
29) The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples
30) There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower
31) The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually thesoundof nitrogen gas bubbles bursting
32) Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death
33) It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the wholebody
34) The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets
35) Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game
36) The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the corneainthe eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air
37) Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born,and140,000 people die
38) In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is10:10because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it is smiling.)
39) Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speakingcountries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."
40) The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning itshead are the rabbit and the parrot
41) Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair
42) The average person laughs 13 times a day
43) Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are:Mizaru(Seeno evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)
44) Women blink nearly twice as much as men
45) German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog
46) Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump
47) Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound
48) Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty ofsending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all twothousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death
49) If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legsinthe air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg intheair, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; ifthe horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of naturalcause.
50) The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirtblood30 feet!!
Nisarga Mitra Picnic Group, Mumbai
Welcome to Nisarga Mitra Picnic Group, A Group dedicated to youths. Be a part of it today. For more visit us at http://www.nisargamitra.cjb.net
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